New diet and such

Well been on my new diet for nearly 2 weeks now and have lost around 7lbs which aint half bad eh? I sometimes have really hard days where I am practically starving but hey no pain no gain (that actually doesnt sound AT ALL right but I think you all know what I mean). I try to space my meals out if I can and constantly write down my intake and exercise in my other journal every night, it also keeps me away from the fridge when I'm doodling in it and such which is always good. I'm hoping to lose around 2 stone by the end of May and seen as I have like only 4 weeks to do it then it's not looking positive so perhaps aim for another 7lbs if possible? I'll still be doing Pilates, Cycling and Zumba aswell however me and a friend are starting a beginners Pole dancing session each week starting the 8th May :) so another thing I can do to rid me of this disgusting fat especially because I have to wear this skirt I was given (I do drama you see) and although mine from 2 years ago still fits I just look awful and can't really go on stage like that people will surely laugh! Thats the end of may hence why that's my target week I am aiming to lose weight for. I am hoping I can do another 5lbs this week coming up, I am gonna drink more water and try alot harder with my diet, only problem is though next week I am attending a meal with my bf's mum and step dad :/ it's a fucking three course thing aswell, so even if I lose weight I will probs gain it back by that night, gonna think of some way to get around the meal, perhaps only eat half??? Hmmm

Right onto yet another problem I've come across, my relationship. Don't get me wrong I'm in love with my bf deeply however for a few months now I have felt trapped and miss the feelin the being single and spending time with my family and friends just being Mariella :/ there has also been numerous times where I have just not felt appreciated by my bf, we had an argument the other day with me ending up sleeping at my house- the argument was awful but we never spend proper time together and I just feel underappreiated, I shouted at my bf explaining this but I'm feeling it just fell on deaf ears, we did talk and have decided that I should stay at home more so I can gain some of my independance back and spend time with my folks which is good, we are also going to take things slower as I always feel like we have to do everything together, sometimes its like we are married and it scares me, I'm only 20 for gods sake however hopefully things will be alot better in a few weeks, watch this space!

Anyhow apart from the things mentioned above I am feeling pretty okay, I found I passed another assignment at Uni so only have to complete one more and get the results for another one, fingers crossed I have passed, will be gutted if I havent :/  I have finished Uni though until Sept so god knows what the hell I'm gonna do up until then, am currently looking for a job but come on who the hell would want me to work for them? Geez if only things were different.

Good night bloggers

xx