Well was gonna write this yesterday but when I came in me and my bf were looking after the dog (he's not so well atm) so didnt have time to vent my anger. Anyway I went to drama yesterday and we were doing this dance for a song from a musical, anyway some girls were paired with girls and they have to like drop us on the floor, I was a bit scared of being put on the floor however the director did it with me and dropped me then as I got up I heard 'something something because she's heavy' - I really hope it wasnt about me but considering the circumstances it must have been about me, however you have to bend your leg and I dont think I did it right so the director got like all my weight :/ anyhow I got paired with one of the girls and we sort of done it but just a bit slower than the other people (however some find it easier cos their paired with men - unfortunetly we dont have one for every girl), anyway I am even more desperate to lose this digusting clingy fat, I felt so humilated, I mean even if I was doing it wrong its just unacceptable I want to be graceful so a fucking frump! So I am going to practice and practice until it's perfect, I will BE PERFECT!!! And I am aiming to lose another 7lbs for the end of May when the shows on so I should be lighter by then, just gonna work my fucking fat arse off like never before, I wont be the fat one on the stage!!!
xx
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